Friday, July 3, 2009

Thermoformed Plastic Packaging

Thermoformed plastic packaging really pisses me off. That ridiculous hard plastic that many small electronics and other consumer goods come in—you know what I am talking about. You end up with a package that takes up at least twelve times as much space as the product itself.

And opening the damn thing... it is impossible! Scissors, knives, pliers, nothing can get through! You pull, push, twist, bend, but the package just will not break. My personal hell would be an eternity of opening this crap. And when you finally do get through, you realize that you have, in fact, broken the product, shredded the instructions, and destroyed too much of the packaging to even dream of returning it. On top of that, the sharp edges of the plastic packaging have left you with cuts on at least three of your fingers, which probably will get infected and send you to the hospital. It is proof that god either does not exist or has a sick, twisted sense of humor.

Now there are even products designed for the sole purpose of opening these evil packages! It must be a full on conspiracy; the companies sell products that are impossible to open, forcing us to buy another product to open them. These people really are evil geniuses. They probably wrap the openers in impossible to open plastic, the bastards.

I am reminded of the scene in Star Wars where Han Solo is encased in frozen carbonite by the evil Jabba the Hutt. Imagine if instead, Han had been encased in thermoformed plastic packaging. This would be a far more diabolical plan. The attempts by Han's friends to open the plastic and rescue him would take hours, and inevitably would end up with numerous large cuts on the friends, and presumably the accidental severing of at least one of Han Solo's limbs...

Now watch these guys try to open their own products wrapped in thermoformed plastic.

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